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About MARIAL MARIAL in the News DIBS ON 'BIDS': 'I got you babe' may just work John Gottman, psychology professor at the University of Washington and founder of the Gottman Institute, co-wrote the 2002 book "The Relationship Cure." Among other things, Gottman conducts research on the interactions between newlywed couples staying in his "Love Lab," an apartment wired for sound and video in which couples wear heart monitors and other devices. His research has shown that the quality of routine interactions between couples can predict whether they will stay together. The first chapter discusses what Gottman calls "bids" between couples: "A bid," says the book, "can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch —- any single expression that says, 'I want to feel connected to you.' " Husbands headed for divorce ignore their wives' bids for connection 82 percent of the time; husbands in stable marriages do so 19 percent of the time. Wives headed for divorce ignore their husbands' bids 50 percent of the time; wives in stable marriages do so only 14 percent of the time, Gottman found. "During a typical dinner-hour conversation, the happily married people engaged one another as many as 100 times in 10 minutes," the book says. "Those headed for divorce engaged only 65 times in that same period. On the surface the contrast may seem inconsequential, but taken together over a year, the additional moments of connection among the happy couples would be enough to fill a Russian novel." < More MARIAL in the News |