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About MARIAL MARIAL in the News UNMARRIED WOMEN: Q&A / KRISTIN CELELLO Emory fellow: 'Sense of crisis' for marriage isn't new When did marriage in America begin to collapse? Maybe never. An Emory University researcher notes that while marriage has changed a great deal in the past 100 years, one thing about marriage has been fairly constant: the fear that it is falling apart. But the institution is still vibrantly alive. Kristin Celello, a postdoctoral fellow at Emory's Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life, is working on a book titled "Making Marriage Work: Marital Success and Failure in the 20th Century United States." She spoke with the AJC by telephone on Friday. Here is an edited transcript of that conversation: Q. It was the norm to expect women to be married in the last century, and the quality of the marriage really didn't matter, did it? A. Frequently it did not. Certainly people had very high ideals going into marriage —- I think that has remained constant. But the idea of what's intolerable within marriage has changed since the mid-'60s. While expectations were high, the bar was set quite low. And so as long as your marriage stayed together, it was in some ways judged a success. Q. Some would argue, I think, that this number [51 percent of American women living without a husband] represents an advance for women, that women are now being seen as more equal partners. A. People certainly think it's great for women that they now have the financial resources to make it on their own. On the other hand, even though we have these numbers, marriage is something that people continue to value. There's still a tremendous emphasis on that. Think about the wedding industry. Think about our obsession with celebrity marriages. And breakups. There's that one side of the coin, that women are now able to [provide] for themselves. I think a lot of people, though, think it's sad. Because they still think that marriage is a sign of womanly success, something you need to live a complete life. Q. How has marriage evolved over the past 60, 70 years? A. Actually, let's take a slightly longer view and let's acknowledge both stability and change. The first national survey about divorce came out in 1889, and it showed that the United States had the highest divorce rate in the world. The rate has pretty much climbed steadily since then. [She says that love was an important part of marriage even in those early days.] I think that's been pretty constant. Also, certainly, looking for stability. When you look at the '50s —- after years of depression and war —- there was something very comforting about getting married and setting up a home and having that stability. Even today, people still view marriage as a place where they can find that. People are aware of the statistics, and some academics say, "Well, people are much more cynical going into marriage." I don't see that, speaking from personal experience. People go in thinking they're going to be the ones who are different, who are going to make it. Q. But with the divorce rate climbing steadily for the past 118 years, don't people approach marriage with a different idea of what it is, or at least with lower expectations? A. The rising divorce has been important for how people talk about and think about marriage. The way I look at it, the divorce rate was one in six by the mid-'20s, one in four in the '50s. This state of affairs has led many Americans to conclude that marriage is in crisis. But if you think about it, this means it's been in crisis for the entirety of the 20th century, if not before. That's one of my big things that I talk about in my work. I think that's a really good way to sell magazines and books and to get people to get out to vote —- to try to find ways to protect marriage. But I don't think it's a very constructive conversation to have about where marriage is going. You have to get over that sense of crisis, so we don't just see these statistics and gasp, "What's happening to American society?" Q. Would you talk about your research? A. I study how and why Americans came to think of marriage as something that you needed to work at to succeed, and particularly that women needed to work at it. Q. So this is a new idea? A. Yes. Marriage in the 19th century was more of a duty. Once you were in it, you had your role. If things weren't working out, you remained married unless you were in the most extreme circumstances. It seems so natural to us today: Of course you work at your marriage. But it does have a history that's tied to fears about divorce and family breakdown that existed throughout the 20th century. Marriage counseling was something that individuals did, not couples. The thinking was that if you had a marital problem, it was probably something within yourself that you had to change. There wasn't any sort of idea that it was about the two individuals and how they work together. I was surprised that communication didn't become a catchword until the early '70s, rather than earlier in the 20th century.
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